Are you crazy, you idiot? Do you
know how much that church clock cost?
My name is Eugen. Enough said.
Because that spells a difficult youth.
This is our house.
Not just any old house,
Fritzli Bühler, the fabled
King of Rascals, once lived here.
Today he is a famous treasure hunter.
A treasure map
he bought from a Genovese sailor
made him the first human to reach
the dreaded Lake Titicaca.
He brought civilization.
All of a sudden, he realized
he must have left the map at home.
He returned at once.
The map remained lost.
Until one day Franz fished
Fritzli Bühler's safari shirt
out of the drain in our cellar.
Professor Gantenbein,
who had discovered
the language barrier, said:
This artifact is at least 300 years old.
Oh my Gosh!
Fritzli Bühler went on to live in Zurich,
where he found a lot to civilize.
Every year he wrote Auntie Melanie,
whose tenant he had been, a postcard.
She still lives on the 1st floor.
Come here, Miss Kitty!
She falls head over heels for kittens.
Aren't you hungry, Miss Kitty?
Do I have to call Dr Walter?
This is Uncle Herman, a big war hero.
The Swiss government awarded him
a box of waterproof matches.
Hermann, help!
But then he married Auntie Melanie.
She never let him breathe the open air.
He inexplicably began
playing with his food.
Soon after that he passed away.
Explicably.
Hermann! Fetch a doctor!
I live on the 2nd floor
and my best buddy Franz one floor up.
Franz! Lunch is ready!
Franz is battling Auntie Melanie's
underwear, what with him being
Berne's bravest knight.
He fears only the day when he'll first
have to kiss a girl.
This is Eduard.
He's already repeated 2 years in school
and can eat a whole piglet in one go.
And this girlie is Bäschteli.
He's a rich kid and breaks as
easily as crockery. He has no buddies,
that's why he hangs around us.
No, don't!
Well! Have we caught a fish?
It's... Klameth!
Goddammit!
I'll be darned!
Mr. Klameth?
This must have fallen out of your pocket.
Cause it's still warm.
You mangy Dook!
I might have guessed you were behind this
Just you wait, sonny!
I shall smash thy bone!
From then on Franz was no longer called
Franz, but Wrigley.
Edi, help me!
I got him.
I don't got him!
Where's the fire? - Up there!
Fire and brimstone! Get out!
Help me!
Get the ladder up!
Real buddies hang on to each other.
Me,
Bäschteli,
Eduard
and Wrigley. The same summer,
we were to become
the most famous rascals in Switzerland.
You're about to see what happened.
Berne 1964
Once a week our teacher Klameth
would drag us to the museum
for an art class. He never came in,
as he had to take his medicine and buy
more at the drugstore.
Art is only for little
girls and little Bäschtelis.
Where are they?
Dunno.
And as Wrigley and I were proper
men and Eduard had even shaved once,
we felt that we had a higher
and indeed heavier calling.
Stout warriors, fair maidens!
I, Sir Ironhat, invite you to
a murderous joust in my castle.
But, Sir Ironhat,
where's your iron hat?
Squire! Hold forth the iron hat!
Bow thy head, noble knight!
Are you nuts? That hurts!
Get out of my way.
What are you doing?
You've slain Wrigley!
A little love tap never hurt anyone.
Lord Almighty!
Put that armor back at once.
Shut up.
Right.
And now, back to work!
It's no good.
Torture chamber
Are you crazy?
The others have all gone home.
That means I have to go, too.
I'm sure my mom's worried.
You can’t just leave me here!
You'll need a blacksmith. I'm hungry. Come.
What?
Help! Help!
Stop those brats!
Stop them! Police!
Jesus Christ!
Devil's brew!
And so, under cover of darkness,
we decided to make our way to my room.
The only place we'd be safely safe.
Half past nine.
I'll knock his block off!
That's the only way he'll learn.
Wrigley. It'll be all right.
What if your parents come in?
They won't, I'm sure.
Sure they'll come. Mine as well.
And then Wrigley had a brilliant idea.
He, his knightly highness, would lie down.
I, his faithful squire,
would be on guard, battle-axe in hand.
What? - My foot.
Do you know what time it is?
And what is this?
Hello, Mrs. Pfister.
That must hurt him.
Shut up. I'll be the judge of that.
Do you know what it's worth?
The museum bought this helmet
and the armor in 1926 for 22'540 francs.
The inflation brings it to 40'328 francs.
Roughly as much as the mortgage your
mum and I took out on this flat.
You'll cost us the roof over our heads!
You're off to work on a farm
for the summer holidays
and you'll pay the repairs on this helmet
What about the scouts' camp?
Cancelled.
And if you overdo
it again in the next few days,
you're off to boarding school, so you'll
be away from that brat Eugen.
Eugen. That Franz is the worst choice
for a buddy. And you can forget
about the scouts' camp.
But... - You'll help Auntie Melanie
with her garden for the next 4 weeks.
But everybody goes to that summer camp.
Is your name Everybody?
But I don't want to go to college.
Humanity begins with academia.
But you're just an accountant, Dad.
And Mom is just a mom!
YESTERDAY MORNING
Look out! Crocodile at port!
I said port, knucklehead!
This won't do.
We must plug the leaks
before setting off for Titicaca.
Right. Tomorrow we'll test
this baby for real on the Aare River
Okay? - No problem.
Hey, you up there! Quiet please!
Miss Kitty is sleeping.
Luckily for us, Miss Kitty did not
suffer permanent damage...
Aunt Melanie?
Aunt Melanie, however...
Miss Kitty? Hermann, help!
Stop it! Stop it!
It's not that bad.
I am swimming. - Come on.
Don't be so stubborn!
What are you looking at?
Did you work on this ceiling?
Stalder, the great do-it-yourselfer!
I haven't done anything. It was your son.
You're to blame for this hole.
Your insurance will have to pay!
I'll shut your own hole if you keep on
about my insurance!
Did your wife even make the payments?
Now what? Lf we wait for them to calm down
we'll be down here for 100 years.
No. If we find this treasure
we'll be so rich
we won't ever have to go back home.
Come on!
We don't even know where this is!
Fritzli Bühler does, though.
We're going to Zurich.
Are you crazy? You know that's dangerous?
My dad got his pocket picked there
at the Sechseläuten parade.
Scaredy cat! Fritzli will be so amazed
when we turn up with his map.
He'll take us with him.
Where are you going?
None of your business.
If you don't tell me,
I'll tell Dad you're down there.
They're looking for you.
What?
Leave me alone!
Can't you look where you're going?
Watch your own step!
After a moment's reflection
Zurich didn't appear that dangerous.
And so we prepared for our journey.
We're still going to the scouts' camp.
They've gone. Come on!
There we were, speeding towards Zurich
and our hero, Fritzli Bühler,
the King of Rascals.
And not to the scouts' camp
as Wrigley'd made his sister believe.
Wrigley'd learnt about red herrings
in a Karl May Western novel. May got it
from Winnetou who got it from John Wayne.
Sometimes Wrigley had good ideas,
and sometimes not.
What are we going to eat, bonehead?
Your parents have all those tins
in their cellar. Why didn't you bring any?
That's spam.
But we can't take that.
Or else we won't be able to cope
when nuclear war comes.
You'd be the first to stop eating spam.
No problem.
On his expeditions Fritzli Bühler always
lived on what nature had to offer.
But we don't even have a fishing rod.
Fritzli Bühler never harmed
an animal.
He only ate honey and grasshoppers.
So they aren't animals?
That's different, they don't have to die.
Just put them in your mouth carefully.
Alive?
It's still better than kissing a girl.
Come on!
You look for honey in hollow trees
and I'll catch some grasshoppers.
We'll have a feast! Hand over the honey.
There's no honey, let alone hollow trees.
I've looked everywhere.
We'll eat the grasshoppers without honey.
You first.
Tasty?
Without the honey it doesn't slide down.
I could eat a ton of spam right now.
Straight from the tin.
Wrigley? If we leave now
we'll be home in time for breakfast.
My parents want to send me
to a boarding school with monks and nuns
What is in their basement?
A torture chamber where
they give you electroshocks. - Rubbish!
No rubbish! Ask Georges Wenger.
He was sent to boarding school, too.
And no-one's seen him since.
Vot temperature would you like
the water to be, Fräulein Colonel?
Minus 4 degrees, Chief of Staff Doctor.
At your orders, Fräulein Colonel!
Strip, inmate! We have total hygiene here!
No way, not in front of a girl.
Strip at once!
Only if you turn around. Don't peek.
Wrigley was right. There was no turning
back for him. We had to go to Zurich.
Track 1: Train to Lucerne,
Bellinzona, Chiasso. For Zurich
please change trains in Lucerne.
Isn't this Bäschteli's bike?
Goddammit! What are you doing here?
You know it's not allowed! Out, now!
Are you mad?
You damned, rotten!
Bloody rascals! Stop!
What a surprise! Snake and Sniffle!
Sought you could slip in unseen without
your uniforms! Get changed right away!
We forgot our uniforms!
Now we know who'll be slaving in the
kitchen while we have super adventures.
Goddammit!
Gotcha! Come along!
Leave the children alone!
I'm their troop leader.
They are under my authority.
"Children"?
Damned rotten rascals, they are!
Next time I'll call the police!
Kids or no kids!
Have a seat!
Instead of going to Fritz Bühler's
we were forced to go to the scouts' camp.
Wrigley's brilliant red herring
had turned into a hot lead.
My goodness, Lucia!
They are at the scouts' camp!
Fathter!
Singing makes you hungry.
Here. You can have something.
Beef jerky!
My friend, Bäschteli.
My scout name is Tarantula!
Estimable Serene Highness Tarantula.
Will you give us something?
This is all I have till Tuesday,
isn't that right, Bubble?
Come on. Your mother will send
you something on Monday.
There's the syrup. - It's not mine alone.
My parents gave it to the scouts
because of my good grades.
We haven't eaten anything since yesterday
Didn't you hear what Tarantula said?
You're not getting any!
Then came the spiral tunnels at Wassen.
We learnt at school that spiral tunnels
allowed the train to wind its way up
the mountain
like a spiral staircase.
If you don't get this it's okay.
Rubber will prove it to you.
You can prove that all tunnels circle
around. All you need is
a heavy object that you suthspend
on a long string like a pendulum.
It'll oscillate in the same direction
while the train turns underneath.
Raise the syrup bottle!
The mighty Bubble raised the string,
i.e. Eduard.
The knot was tied by me, Snake.
You can try yourselves.
A hiking boot will do, too.
And you all have two of shoes.
One, two, three, go!
Three? Now they are all at an angle
to the mothion of the train.
Look! We're approaching the tunnel...
We're moving in circles.
Wrigley crowned this breakthrough
in modern physics with a great lightshow.
Get down at onthe!
...and he gave the experiment...
I'm coming!
...a real kick in the pants.
Turn the light on, Thniffle!
I'm turning in a circle!
It's coming back!
Shit, oh shit!
Yummy, syrup.
Mr. Conductor.
Doggone and goddammit!
Have you gone mad?
Bloody hell! You blasted rascals!
I'll rip all your heads off!
Thpiral tunnelth. Our bootth.
After Rubber had seen stars
his love of children was gone for good.
Thut up, all of you!
Of course we took the blame.
We'll make Rubber see the northern lights
That slave driver!
10.7 cm?
Ath long ath this pit ithn't
at leatht 1.6 m deep, you'll thleep here.
The ground is much too hard!
It ith too hard? Are you two thithieth?
After we'd finished our forced labor,
it was high time to hightail it.
But this time we'd bring provisions.
Now then, Bäschteli...
My scout name is Tarantula.
Get your mitts off!
Skinflint!
This is for me and Tarantula.
You've repeated 2 years in school.
No, three. Why?
I'll make sure he won't repeat again.
And if you do anyway
they'll send you to retard school!
I've got a plan
to keep you out of school for good.
What kind of plan?
Let me see! - Outside.
It's 300 years old.
If we find this treasure
you'll never have to go back to school.
Oh my gosh!
Well?
I'll have to wrap my head around it.
But right now I'm bushed.
So wrap your blockhead around it.
Phone me if anything comes out.
Dear Rubber.
As you abused us kids so horribly today,
we have to inflict
the punishment you deserve.
We took the liberty of partly cutting
the log. Yes, that one.
This one, too.
Thit, dammit!
What's the matter?
He's mad!
Why are you driving this way?
There's no way I'll let him pass.
He got his license at the supermarket.
Wouldn't hurt to speed things up a bit!
The speed limit is 40 mph! Slow down,
Pfister, or you'll get us all killed!
The boys will reach Mt. Gotthard before us
Jesus Christ on a bike!
Like a Dutchman.
Who's in charge of this camp?
I'm the troop leader, Rubber.
Where are Eugen and Franz?
Eugen and Franth?
Snake and Sniffle.
We're their parents.
Ah. Hello, Mrs... - Pfister.
Tho you had no trouble finding uth?
Thankth to my thketch?
Parent'th Day ith on Thunday,
which ith why I'm here...
Hygiene ith important in a camp.
Right! Stop the babbling!
Washing is pointless here.
Tell me where my son is, you pig!
I'll do a roll call.
Troop Murten? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Thempach? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Marignano? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Morgarten? - Snake, Sniffle, Bubble
and Tarantula are missing.
Stop!
Wait up!
What are you doing? That's my package.
Not now it isn't.
Bubble, do something!
It's the provisions for our journey.
Why? Where are you going?
We'll have real adventures. Coming?
Rubber sent me to the Post Office.
Give me my package or I'll tell.
So tell!
Go crying to your mummy, Bäschteli.
My scout name is Tarantula.
We're no longer with the scouts, Tarantula
You're really mean!
Don't you dare tell anyone we're going
to see Fritz Bühler in Zurich.
Knucklehead!
Can we go now?
I'm tho dreadfully sorry.
If there'th anything I can do...
Where's the nearest phone?
We must phone Bäschteli's parents!
In the potht offith at Carona.
Forget that bloody nincompoop! Come on!
Let me go! I won't tell anyone
where you're going! - No way.
You're coming with us.
If you let me go, you'll get beef jerky.
No dice. It's mine anyway.
Our parents! - Run for cover!
I want to go back.
No way. We're going to Zurich.
And if Fritzli Bühler doesn't live there?
He might live some place else and
we've crossed this mountain in vain.
Yeah, what do we do then?
Fritzli Bühler does live in Zurich.
Auntie Melanie gets a postcard each
April 1st with Zurich's snowman on it.
What if he doesn't want to see us?
Not want to see us? The King of Rascals?
Maybe he's turned into a normal grown-up.
Think again.
He will never be a normal grown-up.
And so I ask you,
from one rascal to another,
from one scoundrel to another:
Who wants to go back
to his parents, to school,
back to the scouts,
while there's a Fritzli Bühler
and a treasure in Lake Titicaca?
To Zurich!
To Zurich! Let's go!
Dammit!
Dear viewer, as if our flight hadn't
already been fraught with obstacles,
Wrigley had broken his pedal.
Taking it apart is one thing.
But putting it back together...
And added to the technical stuff
the aggravation of finding that
it just lacked a drop of oil.
But what good does all the oil in the
world do when the ball bearing breaks?
16 tiny balls...
There are 16 of these. If one is lost,
Wrigley will walk to Zurich.
I've found ten, so there must be 7 more.
Did I get that wrong?
Hold it!
No!
What are you doing to my chickens?
Help me! I was kidnapped!
Thieves! Bloody thieves!
Don't leave me alone!
If I catch you, I'll show you!
I'm gonna get my gun!
Oh no!
Go on!
Why do I have to go up there?
Cause it's your fault we've got this
girlie hanging around. Are you scared?
It's kinda high up.
If I fall and hit my head...
You'll know what 16 minus 10 is.
Come here, cluckety-cluck!
Got ya!
So come down.
Stay up there.
Oh my!
Salvatore! What are you doing?
Shooting. Can't you see?
Come on!
Let go!
I'm too high up!
They're kids!
They're bloody thieves!
I'm confiscating this gun!
It's mine! - Salvatore!
Salvatore, let go!
Or they'll shoot!
Stalder is doing this on purpose.
Don't get worked up.
Ruedi is simply a cautious man.
Vreni, the sleeping car has arrived.
See how dangerous? If I'd taken this bend
at 40 mph we'd be dead!
You bloody wops! Stand aside!
Go on! Finito siesta.
Have you a bit problem?
Have you visto 4 kids con bikes?
4 kids on bicycles?
Yes, exactly. Have you seen them?
Yes, I have. And who are you?
The mother... this is the papa.
Ah, the papa?
Attention! Attention!
The church clock is saved!
These are the kids' parents.
A miracle!
What did you say to that wop?
This doesn't look good.
That guy is nuts!
Stalder! Watch what you're doing!
Now what?
While our parents spent hours
debating the value
of the village church,
we were obliged to wait
until the chicken would give up
Wrigley's ball bearings in a natural way.
I was of course handed the thankless job
of keeping an eye on Bäschteli.
Hello.
I'm Bäschteli from Berne.
I have to phone my mother.
Help!
Am I glad you're still alive.
I thought I was a goner.
You're pretty smelly.
Eugen, you're my buddy, right?
Sure I'm your buddy.
What funny business are you up to?
Well, I... - Did you run away?
Bäschteli saved my life.
Bullshit.
He did. My legs went to sleep
so I took a walk in this meadow.
And suddenly this bull went for me.
Bull indeed.
A real monster.
He'd almost gored me with his horns
when Bäschteli appears with a cloth,
yelling. The bull sees him
and charges.
Bäschteli runs around this corner
and leaps into this cesspit.
The bull can't stop and - splash!
At full tilt.
Bäschteli's a hero.
Bullshit. And where's the bull?
In the cesspit, of course.
Great. It would pass inspection as it is.
Are the lights moving?
Moving? No!
But they're shining.
They're supposed to move!
It is a major innovation!
The lights shine around the bend
so you see what's coming.
The way you drive around bends
even a candle would do.
I've had it! First you bang up
my Citroen, then you're broke,
so I have to pay for that church clock
that was no doubt ruined by your son.
Now shut up the both of you!
We'd like to sleep.
Let's write up an accident report.
Okay, let's write it.
Which of you three fugitive scoundrels
will join the pact that I propose,
here, this night,
in the heart of Switzerland?
I will. - I will. - I will.
We'll stand united as a people of brats.
We won't let necessity tear us asunder.
We shall be cheekier
than our fathers would allow.
We'd rather go hungry than miss a prank.
That night Bäschteli became one of us.
And then there was another miracle...
Something must have happened to Bäschteli
The working classes have never managed
to turn up on time.
Let's get started. - Sorry,
but I can't take a statement
until all the parents are here.
Can't you see that my wife is unwell?
Take down his description at least!
Okay. Show me a photograph
if you have one here.
They're all a month old.
His first day with the scouts.
What's the matter? Need a can opener
to pry her out of that box?
The door's stuck! - You're stuck up!
Are you Mr. Ramseier senior?
The father of Eduard Ramseier?
That would be me.
No, Edi's at the scouts' camp.
No, he's not there.
I'll have to ask my wife.
Wife! When was Eduard born?
Must have been...
between Martin and little Rita...
1950, August 30th.
August 30th, 1950.
I think. - She thinks.
We don't need that.
Edi's bound to turn up.
He's always managed to find his way home.
Mr. Ramseier won't report his son
as missing: Edi will find his way home.
That's what I think.
They must have at least 5 children.
All we have is Bäschteli.
I don't give a damn what you think.
I want you to start a search
for my son.
Or should I tell my local government
friends about your incompetence?
Do the rest of you agree?
Right. I'll notify the police
at Wassen, Gurtnellen
and Hospental. - No.
You don't understand.
Turning over a few stones isn't enough.
I want a full-scale search
between here and Berne.
APB's, roadblocks and, if necessary,
army support!
Now do you understand?
Yessir!
And now I'll ring Hans Ringier.
It'll be in all the papers tomorrow.
Hello?
I have no money for you.
I'd like to know
if you know Fritzli Bühler.
Do I look like a phone book?
I've found him!
Not a palace for the King of Rascals.
That's just a cover.
Oh, well. There's no way around it.
We'll have to abduct him.
Do you think
we can just wait here
for the King of Rascals and say:
"Hi, King, we're rascals, too."
He'd take us for sissies.
So you "abduck" him?
Exactly. - What does that mean?
We show him we are masters of the prank.
Now!
Hit him!
Right, Fritzli Bühler.
Now you know once and for all:
You're not
dealing with sissies!
No, don't! We won't hurt you!
We're looking for Fritzli Bühler.
I'm Franz.
That's Eduard... Eugen...
and Bäschteli.
From Berne.
What do you want from my father?
Fritzli Bühler? A daughter?
Anything wrong with that?
No. But why did he never mention you
to Auntie Melanie? - Auntie Eliane?
No, Melanie.
In Berne, where Fritzli used to live.
My father's always lived in Zurich.
Let's go. - But Fritzli Bühler...
It's the wrong one!
What's going on here?
What did you do to her?
We're just playing cowboys and Indians.
Stop!
Hands up!
What tribe do these redskins belong to?
These are my friends from the Emmental.
They sang with the Langnau boys' choir.
Franz, Eugen,
Eduard and Bäschteli.
Emmental. - Emmental.
A hearty appetite, have a Swiss bite.
The dear Lord must have put something
into the rain.
Eduard - of all people - and Wrigley
couldn't eat a bite
and kept staring at the girl
as if she were a shiny new toy.
Aren't you hungry?
I'm not a big eater.
Me too. Me neither.
No!
Later, Wrigley didn't think up a new plan
for finding the real Fritzli Bühler
or watch the soccer game with us.
No, he disappeared for an eternity
and came back with a soggy note.
"Fritzli Bühler's daughter is a maid
that my heart to waste has laid
You beautiful Indian princess
have knocked me out. I'm a mess.
Oh, tell me, can you spare a glance
and a kiss for a boy named Franz?"
Never had I seen Wrigley so sad
when the Swiss team scored a goal.
Franz has been in there for half an hour.
Mademoiselle?
When the perfumed peacock
had spread his tail flat on the floor
we took up our quarters.
I can't sleep for the smell in here.
I don't smell a thing.
It's you who smells! What's up with you?
Nothing.
My father calls this
"cherchay la famm". - What does it mean?
It's French, it means, there's a smell.
Doesn't it mean "look for the woman"?
Bullcrap. Tell that to your retard friends
Oh well, I gave it a shot.
Come on!
Let's get out of here.
I think they're asleep.
Where are you going?
To find the real Fritzli Bühler.
He'll be asleep. We'll find him tomorrow.
I know why he wants to stay here.
He loves girls!
Take that back! No way do I love girls.
You love girls. - You do!
While they argued for hours
about which was the real lover of girls,
night turned into day.
That's a dangerous scoundrel you caught.
Yes, and here are three more, to boot.
Darn it, where's Kathrin?
The train leaves in 20 minutes.
I forgot my backpack.
Well then, skedaddle!
I forgot my backpack.
Nothing else?
We're coming!
Got everything?
Tickets, backpacks, good spirits?
Change trains in Lucerne
and make sure that all your bikes
reach Langnau.
When you're next in Zurich, look us up.
Sure we will.
Thanks for everything!
You're welcome, you silly boys.
Come on!
What about my bike?
Do you want to go to the Emmental or
on adventures with Fritzli Bühler?
Missing: 4 boys! 15,000-franc reward.
Boys!
Sorry!
We're trapped!
Look, boys.
Nothing will happen to you.
We'll just take you to your parents.
Never!
One step closer and we'll jump!
Boys!
Don't make this hard on yourselves.
We had fun last night, right?
We'll swim over there! - No!
Come on! - No!
Eugen! Dammit! - I can't swim!
Come along now. Or we'll come for you.
But I've been to the pool with you!
But not at the deep end!
Stop!
Goddammit all to hell!
"The boys were last seen in Altdorf.
Industrialist Peter von Allmen,
father of the missing Sebastian,
is offering a 15'000 franc reward
for finding the children."
Like the treasure of Lake Titicaca.
15'000 francs.
I think my dad is serious.
I know how to get that money.
How? - You wait here.
I'll fetch the police.
You idiot. You don't get a finder's fee
for finding yourself.
But what if someone else found us?
The real Fritzli Bühler.
He can take us home,
get the 15'000 francs and
take off with us again. - Great, Wrigley.
No. There's no Fritzli Bühler in Zurich.
Sure there is. We just haven't found him.
We checked the phone book.
Only one Fritzli Bühler,
and we stayed with him.
Maybe he changed his name.
Then we'll never find him. You tell
all these half-true or made-up stories.
Because of you,
all of Switzerland is after us. - Relax!
Everything's fine.
Nothing's fine. We have no bikes, no
backpacks, and no food. Eduard was shot at,
Bäschteli's parents are worried sick.
Go ahead by yourself. I'm going home.
I'm going with you.
Go on! I'll keep looking
with Eduard.
Eugen is right. Bäschteli has to go home,
I'm going with them.
I'll go looking for him on my own.
Beat it!
By the time you find him,
mankind will have reached the moon.
W... where did they go? - Who?
The ones that stole my cap.
In the name of the post office: Well done!
I'm appointing you
Postmaster General!
What are you crying about?
I'm looking for... Fritzli Bühler.
The King of Rascals.
That Fritzli Bühler! He's a good
friend of mine and of theirs.
We're about to meet at the Beer Hall.
Ever had a beer?
Sure, more than one.
So you're from Berne?
Yes, and I also live in the house
where Fritzli Bühler used to live.
What was the deal?
A swig after every sentence!
Two sentences. Two swigs.
One, two, one, two...
One...
two...
I wonder what Wrigley's doing.
He's ringing every doorbell in Zurich,
asking for Fritzli Bühler.
Do you think he doesn't exist?
Sure he does, but not in Zurich.
What if something happens to Wrigley?
When's Fritzli coming?
Him? Any time now.
Heidi, another beer for Wrigley.
Yes! Another beer for Wrigley!
Beer, beer, beer.
Don't piss yourselves.
He could have come with us.
Maybe we left a bit too quickly.
Usually he's quicker than any of us.
Yes. Jumping into the river after you.
What'll we tell Wrigley's mom
if we come home without him?
She thinks we're his friends.
What next?
Fritzli took the chock from under the
chestnut-vendor's stall, it crashed into
a railing and sent the chestnuts flying.
Did Fritzli never tell you this?
No. And here's a really good one.
He never will.
Why not?
Because there is no Fritzli Bühler.
He doesn't exist!
And now about you, Franz Stalder.
Did you see how fast one can go?
A Rolls-Royce is not an Opel.
I don't usually floor it,
but my son is at stake.
I hope Bäschteli is among them.
Didn't he say on the phone?
No, just that they picked up 3 boys
with bicycles at the station.
A conductor noticed them.
He calls me and says:
"I've got those children."
I didn't catch on at once.
"What kids?" "The ones from the paper."
I hadn't read the paper.
Say l: "Paper?"
Says he: "The missing children from Berne.
From the front page."
I dashed down to the cafeteria.
Says I: "This is urgent. Hand me the paper"
They hand it to me. I take a look.
And then back to the phone.
"Stop them!" says I. "Detain them!
I'll send two men over."
They deployed, reported back to me
and arrested
the juvenile delinquents.
You haven't locked up these children
in a cell down here?
The cells are on the top floor.
I one of these brats sawed through
the bars and jumped out I'd have
to scrape him off the floor downstairs.
The children are in here.
In the heating room.
And why? It's warm and cozy.
If you sign a receipt, you can take them.
Here are your children.
Now, about this 15'000-franc reward...
This boy is worth 15'000 francs!
The only thing we have to do
is deliver you safely home.
We found a train that goes to Berne!
Wrigley, you bonehead!
Oh my gosh!
Let me go home!
No, we'll take you there.
Heidi, call a taxi!
Yes! A taxi! For Wrigley!
Where to? - To Berne, you cow!
We have to help Wrigley.
I haven't done anything.
Yes, you cry like a girl.
Like a girl with a square hairdo!
Hey, our bikes!
What the hell is going on?
Wrigley, run!
Ah, you've come, too!
The five of us can take the taxi.
Let him go!
What do you want, you hick!
Red alert!
I have everything under control.
Goodbye, Chief Constable.
So where are our children?
The Chief Constable said
he'd like to apologize for this faux pas.
Apparently we're not the only ones.
What does that mean?
That newspaper story brought on
350 reports from Central Switzerland,
250 ID checks
and the arrest of 60 boys.
The Chief Constable thinks
it's due to that 15'000-franc reward.
That happens when a fat cat gets involved.
The bigger the turd, the more flies...
Mind your language! - That's what happens
when money's no object.
Bäschteli is worth that much for me.
Enough! I'm going back to Berne.
These boys are bound to turn up.
A good mother can sense that.
You're right, Vreni. We're coming too.
Let them do as they please.
Is our child only worth 15'000 francs?
No, finding our child
is worth 15'000 francs to me.
Where's the difference?
It's too much! - Too much?
Yes, too much!
Who'll relieve me of those 3 spare kids?
Stop! I can't go on.
I'm sorry.
So am I.
Me, too.
And I can't do this without you.
We shall stand
united as a people of brats.
We won't let necessity tear us asunder.
We shall be cheekier
than our fathers would allow.
We'd rather go hungry than miss a prank.
The end
Come on! You've gotta see this.
FRITZ BÜHLER - TELEVlSION SETS
Well, Mrs. Bianchi,
here's your TV set.
A TV? Why?
Last week, your husband, Alfredo,
told me to bring you the new Halux 500.
That's our new state-of-the-art model.
My husband Alfredo died 10 years ago.
Bye, sonny.
You don't have to buy this TV. But you
want to watch TV from time to time...
News, nature programs, religious broadcasts
in Italian... - You don't say!
Even you have something to learn.
Whenever and for as long as you like.
How am I supposed to pay for this?
Let's make a deal.
I'll leave it here for 2 weeks for free.
Free?
Free.
Come in, I'll make you a cup of coffee.
Come into the kitchen.
Look at that: The Pope!
Mamma mia! The Holy father!
Now you won't be so lonely anymore.
What if Fritzli's on holiday
and won't be back for 2 weeks?
He wouldn't have left that TV set.
Maybe it's broken.
No, it isn't.
Now what?
End of the line!
Get out! Now!
Turn around. Hands up!
Are you... Fritzli Bühler?
It says so plainly on my van, you thief.
We came especially from Berne to find you
To steal a TV?
No.
We wanted to ask you...
where this treasure is. - What's that?
Let's see.
How is Auntie Melanie?
It's him.
It's him. - It's him.
It's him.
The King of Rascals.
A wondrous destiny was at work
in the dark corners of the universe:
Before the first man had set foot
on the moon
we set foot
into the house of Fritzli Bühler.
Enjoy.
Yum, mashed potatoes!
So you drive around all day
selling TV sets?
I set them up in people's homes
for 2 weeks for free. When I come back,
they're hooked and pay up.
And when the Halux 500 breaks down
after a month, I'm not in the phone book.
How much is a Halux 500?
999 francs.
That's not that much.
My big brother's TV cost 1'000.
My neighbor. He's a loony tune.
Bühler, I have a court order here.
I've already got that one.
You know you're not to cook after 9 p.m.
You've told me that 100 times.
Life on a campground
depends on mutual respect.
But you young people don't have any.
If you know all that,
why were you barred from the local
campground after 3 months?
And they didn't want you at the allotment
Says who? - Wiesendanger.
A square who thinks
you're too square.
Bühler, watch your step.
Tomorrow I'll go tho the DMV. Prepare
to surrender your license plates.
Even better:
I'll make sure
your sleazy home is junked.
That does it. Come on, boys.
Luckily, Fritzli had an emergency stash
of a sleeping potion brewed by the
Titicaca Indians for a covert operation
to drive the square out of Hauser.
And now?
Now Hauser was out of commission and
ready for the climax of our prank,
which we had worked out with Fritzli
in detail.
How to get rid of a square
1. Call Roberto
2. Procure plank
3. Bring plank
Attach chain
5. Extend crane
6. Raise square and...
...7. take him for a ride.
Roberto, thanks a million.
I'll take that to Genoa
and you give me that Halux 500.
Be careful, it's addictive.
To Genoa? - Close enough.
While Hauser was on his way
to an unwanted holiday, our own holidays
finally started as they should have.
We're never going home.
This was the best moment of our lives.
We had found Fritzli
and he hadn't become a normal grown-up.
That night, we and Fritzli became
a real gang and made plans
for what we'd do
with the Lake Titicaca treasure...
until the break of dawn.
Fritzli's gone!
Wake up!
What?
That's impossible!
What's going on? - Fritzli's gone.
Why?
I don't know. All his stuff is gone.
Maybe he moved house
and forgot to tell us.
Yes, and I bet he left his address here.
Hey, I found something!
A crocodile.
This isn’t just any old crocodile,
that's one that Fritzli shot!
What's that? - 4 first-class
tickets to Berne.
I think he wants us to go home.
And then we were on the train to Berne
without the treasure from Lake Titicaca.
Home to our parents, to school, the scouts.
But it won't be the same home,
because we aren't the same anymore.
We carry a treasure in our hearts
nobody can ever take from us.
This treasure, dear viewer, is what
you've just seen. You may ask:
Where was this treasure?
Was it this adventure or that one?
Was it Kathrin or Fritz Bühler?
Or was it?
What are you doing in first class?
Well, I don't know.
But it's there,
locked in our hearts,
and it will shine for us in the dark.
Even on the darkest of days...
Are you crazy, you idiot?
Do you know how much that clock cost?
Your chocolate mousse.
THE END
Stop! You'll want to know where Fritzli is
Will you go hunting in Peru?
Yes, on Lake Titicaca.
Crocodile hunting.
Ah, crocodiles.
Would you like a drink?
I'll have a Campari Soda.
THE END
No, there's something missing!
A whole year later...
Shall we?
See you later.
What about us?
Well, have you ever done it?
Lotsa times.
Will you show me?
You'll have to shut your eyes.
But so do you.
Bühler, on the camping...
Mates. This is our new ship boy.
Heeelp!
Police! Help!